Okay, so it's been quite a while since my first post. I'm hoping this won't be the case for the future.
In my last, and first and only, post I said I was going to be blogging with my testimony over the posts to follow but I feel something different is needed. My testimony will come with time. For now, I have a battle to fight and I want to share it so you who are reading and others may share or fight with me in this battle.
Spiritual warfare is all around us whether we recognize it or not. Sometimes it's hard to even place what is spiritual warfare and what's just a personal difficulty we're going through. I'm reading a book right now entitled Wild at Heart by John Eldredge. In the book John talks about a constant battle we're in and how we must be prepared to fight at all times. The devil is attacking us and the people around us all the time. We have to be aware of this and always ready to ward off any attack.
Right now, I feel like a mental block has come upon me and even possibly has been upon me for many years. It's something I'm just now realizing that I may need to take more of an initiative to battle against. In recent months I've prayed for God to give me words of wisdom so that I may use them to advance His Kingdom and to be a light to the world. This is my way of saying I always want to have a response. I feel I have opinions that I'm not able to address or convey at many times that I want to. Now, I know there are plenty of times when it's best to not say anything at all. However, I feel I have plenty of times when I've wanted to say something and I've either waited too long or I find I'm running backwards to later get my points across.
I've always been a quieter person ever since I was little. Granted, I've always been adventurous and always looking for something to do but when I'm in crowds or in a situation with people I don't know as well or feel the slightest bit uncomfortable I tend to clam up. I've been working on this for many years because it is a quality of myself that makes me very insecure. And this insecurity spawns more timidness and I just go 'round and 'round in circles until I'm actually beating myself up internally, emotionally draining everything that's within me.
For a couple of years now I have been fine. Not until last night had this problem surfaced itself with such a fierce validity. I have been battling this problem head on and doing so well. Making myself talk when I had something to say, trying new things, creating new situations and surroundings. I have been coming out of my shell so to speak more and more as the months go by. Last night scared me. Last night made me realize I need to battle harder, be stronger, be more aware. There are actions I need to take and prayers I need to pray.
Sometimes we need to reevaluate a prayer so that it is more precise and more accurate to the problem or battle at hand. I've been asking God for words of wisdom to advance his Kingdom. For me and what I want this is not direct enough. I need to be asking God to banish the devil from my thoughts and from my mouth so that I will speak when I want to speak, so that I will recall memories and thoughts when I need or want them, so that I will be actively doing instead of reactively doing nothing.
The devil is very powerful and we must never underestimate him but we must also give him less opportunities to strike and know how to strike back. With God's power and wisdom we can defeat him. We can win. And we will. So long as we continue to pick up our swords, constantly evolve in His Grace and never, ever give up.
My Evolved Prayer:
"With these words I ask you Lord to cast away the devil from my lips and my thoughts and banish him back to Hell where he belongs. The devil will no longer block my ideas, my thoughts or my tongue allowing me to speak freely, think freely and act accordingly whenever you know I want to. You have my heart Lord and the Spirit is within it. As Christ as my friend and my Saviour I pray all of this in His name. I am forever Yours. Amen."
In Christ,
JMN
P.S. If you need this prayer it is always more efficient when you pray out loud and with a friend you have confidence in. And one time is never enough. Sometimes the same prayer is needed many days or months in a row. Feel free to use mine. If there is not someone you have close confidence with praying out loud will do just find but make sure you make constant efforts to find that person or persons to fight this ongoing battle with.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
i loved the post mike. seriously. honestly, i feel like since i havent kept my promise with god there is no way i can prosper. anyway. great job man. im glad youre blogging!
ReplyDelete80sbabe,
ReplyDeleteYou couldn't be more wrong. God is the King of second, third, fourth, and more chances. All God wants to do is love you. He wants to love us regardless of our human flaws. If you've accepted the Spirit into your and Jesus as your Lord and Saviour then you've fought half the battle. God has forgiven you of anything you've done and will do. Now this isn't to say go out and continue to break promises, hurt people, hurt yourself, whatever your flaws may be small or large. All God wants is a relationship with you. He put us on this Earth so we can relate to Him. So we can strive to find Him and know Him intimately.
God knew before He created Adam and Eve that Eve was going to eat the apple and that Adam was going to let her do it. He knew we were going to fail before we even thought it! How unselfish of a God is He to know we would fail Him and He still created us and gave us this awesome opportunity to experience life as a human.
80sbabe, all I'm trying to convey here is that it's never too late. If you do want a relationship with Him He's waiting and patiently so. Start taking small steps. You can recommit yourself anytime you want to. Start talking to Him, tell Him your sorry, tell Him you want more, tell Him you can do it and you'll try hard. He wants a relationship with you. Think about how you would want the perfect relationship to be between your best friend in the whole world. Now think about it being better than that. That's what He wants and that's what He can give. Talk to Him, ask Him questions. He wants to talk to you.
One more thing that may help... 80sbabe, our hearts are purely good it's our human flesh that is bad. The Devil is King of the flesh. God is King of our hearts and our hearts are filled with the Spirit.
In Christ,
JMN
thanks so much man. he's answered so many of my prayers. my family prays for me in the day, afternoon, and into the night. i know that its because of their prayers that im even here. i was talking to a lady that i grew up with in the church and lately we havent kept in contact. shes been talking and praying with me, also sending me books and bible verses. im not sure what happened. at one time(jan.09) i was in gods hands. i gave my life to him. when i looked in the mirror i noticed that alot about me had changed. my physical appearance, i had lots of wisdom, determination, and courage. i was studying the word and praying. i really wanna find a church to go to. i know that god doesnt give us anything we cant bear but, life lately feels unbearable.
ReplyDelete80sbabe,
ReplyDeleteYou're exactly right. God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. It may feel like we can't and we may be telling ourselves we can't but all that really is is the devil whispering in your ear. It's not even you talking because you know deep down in your heart that you can make it through whatever comes your way. It's the devil telling you that you can't.
Our attitudes are the hinges on which our lives swing. With a good attitude ANYTHING can be accomplished. Even in the worst circumstances if we have a good attitude we will come out on top. Take a look at the people you admire. How do they go about life? Are they usually smiling? Do you think that they don't have things that are making their shoulders heavy, too? Everyone has their own concoction of problems going on. It's how we handle those problems that allow us to overcome them. Don't let your problems control you, you control your problems. The second you let your problems start controlling is the second you're letting the devil win and he's constantly tugging at you to bring you down. But you have every bit that it takes to defeat him and control your life.
80sbabe, you're an amazing person with a great spirit. You have so much going for you and you're taking all the right steps to move forward and accomplish your goals. Continue to talk to God. Have some alone time with him. One thing I do is fast. When I have something going on that I can't shake fasting always gets the job done. Fasting shows incredible tenacity when you want something to pass or you're just looking for answers. It puts an unmatchable focus on the problem or question at hand. If you'd like some information on fasting please let me know.
Just remember it's your attitude that's going to get you through whatever it is you're going through. Soon you'll look back and be so proud and say, "Ya, I handled that like a champ."
You're in my prayers.
In Christ,
JMN
thanks man. youre exactly right. yeah man give me some info on that!
ReplyDeleteCheck out this website:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.ccci.org/training-and-growth/devotional-life/7-steps-to-fasting/index.htm
Keep me updated on how things are going!
In Christ.